KenFucky...

Played like shit today on the golf course and already saw my favorite rookie shit the bed... good times.  

Sonoma Results - Cousin Carl Gets Piston a Second Win

Top Picks:

Well so much for my Sphincter Factor Theory I had imagined for Team Piston.  With all those 2 and 3 win teams buzzing about last week... all they did was choose the 99 car on Sunday and left and right turned their way into victory lane.  Piston gets their 2nd win and jumps up 2 spots to 4th.  Back in week 1 was the last time Piston had been this close to the top and they were 4th then as well.  Nice job Piston!!!

Ideal took McMurray (4th) for yet another nice points day.  Ideal jumps up a spot to 8th and is only 4 points out of the 7th place spot.

Ambrose (8th) was our most popular pick as is the norm for road courses.  Even though he has never won at Sonoma it is tough not to pick the Thunder from Down Under.  Chonk slightly widens his gap <wink> over Penguin from 1 point to 6 points.  Skidmarks holds on to 5th.  Dust jumps into the 7th place spot.  Beef, Empty, and A-Game all keep their same positions but log a nice points day.

Kiss and Rusty chose 10th place finisher Bowyer.  Kiss moves up 1 spot to 9th and Rusty hangs on to lucky 13th.  Both these handsome* fellas have 2 wins, so they are looking good* for a postseason run.

* I can confirm Rusty is handsome and looking good, but I can only assume that Kiss is handsome and looking good as well... never met him face to face.  Unless he's one of the many Jersey hooligans that I have met over the years at Rusty's Poker Parties...

Eh...:

Kurt Busch (12th) was this week's second most popular choice.  He ran in the top 5 for most of the day, but pit strategy (I think) put him back in the pack towards the end of the race.  He never made it back up front, but he did spin his brother out with a few laps to go... so that was pretty cool.  Penguin stays in 2nd, Asleep drops back one into a tie for 5th, Shepard jumps up one to 10th, Rasta (14th) and Rowdy (16th) both hang on to their positions.

Graziano took 14th place Vickers.  Graz can hear the squealing of Piston's tires only 5 points behind him, but he hangs on to the 3rd spot.  Graz has run up in the top 7 for the last 14 weeks, and is looking to be a strong contender in the Chase this year.

DOOTW/BSOTW:

I'm not sure if this has happened before in the Dutch Oven Award Era, but Pursuit gets a double stinker this week receiving both the Dutch Oven and the BSOTW awards.  I thought AJ was going to be a freaking genius pick this week.  And he was... until Jr. decided to jump the curb and use the 47 car as a guardrail to keep himself on the track.  AJ led the most laps and was definitely the driver and car to beat all day, but finished 37th after the incident.. what could have been?  Pursuit drops 4 spots out of 7th to 11th, but he has 2 wins and I'm thinking he will be just fine in the weeks to come.   Sorry Pursuit...  

Other Ramblings:

Kentucky this Saturday.  That's all we need... a bunch of hillbillies boozin' it up and watching NASCAR... but enough about my house... and you guys thought I was making a Kentucky joke.

I hope I get lucky in Kentucky...

Daytona the following Saturday.  2 Saturday races in a row, so get your picks in mfers!

Another team gets to the 2 win mark... and it's not me.  F&*K!

The teams that hold 2nd-7th are still an extreme BSOTW and a win or top 5 finish from 8th place Ideal from being on the outside looking in.  That's what makes that 2nd win so huge... You can BSOTW and DOOTW your way through the next few weeks and still get one more win and be in.

We have 10 weeks left until the Chase begins and A-Game, Empty, and Rasta need to start making their move.  Rasta is closest to 7th (51 points out) and Empty has a win.  A win this week in Kentucky would be huge for these teams... Can they get 2 or 3 wins in 10 races?  It is definitely possible, but a very tall order at this point I'm thinking.  I hope they prove me wrong...

Good luck to all!

Cheers!  

Sonoma Drivers

Sorry for the late post... Brewery Promotions all day yesterday.

Michigan Results - Harvick gets the Johnson... and not in a good way.

No wins this week for the League, but lots of action at Michigan International Speedway.  Harvick seemed to be the class of the field, but In the end it was Johnson... sounds like my bachelor party.  But seriously folks...

Top Picks:

Harvick finished 2nd for the 3rd time in 5 races, giving Asleep and Ideal the top pick for the week.  A late pit strategy seemed to be the reason Asleep is shorted his 4th win and Ideal his second.  Asleep isn't losing any sleep though as he is the biggest mover this week jumping 3 spots to 4th.  Ideal jumps up a spot into 9th and is now only 10 points out of 7th.  Congrats fellas!

Locked in Chaser, Rowdy, took Keselowski who finished 3rd.  The #2 car ran well all day and gave Rowdy a nice points day.  A win at this point will not do Rowdy much good... unless she keeps climbing into one of the qualifying spots.  Remember the new rules will allow a Wild Card team into the Chase, but they will not receive any Bonus points.  Starting with 1000 points as a wild card vs. 1002 (for a 7th Place Qualifier) + (3 wins *3 Bonus Points = 9) = 1011 points to start the Chase.  Last year's Championship was decided by 1 motherf*$%ing point, so will she try to keep climbing or coast on into the Chase?  I can't wait to find out.

Graziano, Dust and Beef took the 4th Place #27 car of Paul Menard.  Menard ran strong all day and had an impressive finish.  Graziano stays in 3rd, but is now only 12 points out of the top spot.  Dust climbs up a spot into 8th, but he and his 2 wins are only 2 points out of 7th.  Beef is in a similar situation to Rowdy, but only 33 points out of a qualifying spot.  With 11 races to go before the Chase, will he put the hammer down or slide on in to Chicago with his top drivers available???  

Rasta took Kahne (5th).  A nice finish, but a win would have been much nicer.  With 0 wins and 48 points out of a qualifying spot... more days like this will be a requirement for our defending Champ if he is to make the postseason and defend his title.

Penguin put the jinx on Dale Jr. who was going for his 3rd win of the season and 2nd in a row.  However, a 7th place finish was nice enough to get him (me) to within 1 point of 1st place team Chonk.  I like the points and will never complain, but I want my 2nd win already.  

Pursuit and Shepard took my new favorite driver and rookie of the year runaway (in my opinion) Kyle Larson (8th).  Pursuit and his 2 wins have not been in the top 7 since week 3 in Vegas.  Week 6 (Martinsville) he was in last and 40 points out of 7th ... that was only 9 races ago.  Shepard continues his climb up the leaderboard... now only 21 points out of a qualifying spot with 2 wins.  

Eh...:

Piston took 12th place McMurray and slides back a spot to 6th.  I have to think team Piston is feeling the pressure of having only the one win and being surrounded by Chase qualifiers and 2 win teams within striking distance.  The next few weeks will be interesting to watch how team Piston navigates these rough waters.

Skidmarks and Rusty took 20th place Biffle.  Biffle has a great history in Michigan, but disappointed last Sunday.  Skid (Locked in Chaser) slides back a spot to 5th and Rusty (2 wins) stays in 12th.  Not a great day for two teams in good shape for the post season... but it can always be worse.  

DOOTW:

Kiss drops 5 spots this week to 10th with a pretty ballsy Austin Dillon pick.  The rookie of the year runner up (in my opinion) finished 30th giving Kiss and his 2 wins the Dutch Oven Award this week.

BSOTW:

Book end bed shitters this week with Chonk (1st) and A-Game (last).  I thought Vickers was an excellent pick this week.  Mostly because Chonk picked him, but... he qualified in the top 10, had good practices and has ran well this year... even though he hasn't always finished well.  Chonk hangs on to the top spot by a point while A-game seems to be fading out of site.  The great thing about the rules this year is that he is only 3 wins away from forgetting about the last 15 or so races.  

Empty winds up with the most poo in the bed this week with his DQ.  The new rules state that he has to take the top available driver and receive 0 points for the week.  He basically burns his 1st Gordon pick as Gordon was leading the standings prior to Michigan.  Father's Day distractions were the cause... Time for some wins amigo!

Other Ramblings:

Sonoma this week on Sunday.  I wonder what Vegas has the over/under on Ambrose picks for our League. 

I got my second hole in one last Saturday while playing with my Dad and a former golf pro at our local course.  The ball mark was about 5 inches behind the hole and all we saw was the ball taking two hops and disappearing into the hole... simple game.  This completes telling everyone I know...

 You guys will have to correct me if I'm wrong, but i think A-Game and Rasta collaborated last year for the title.  Technically, both defending champs are in a bit of trouble this year and are employing very different strategies.  Rasta still can rally and grab a qualifying position, but I have to think A-Game is looking for wins (153 points out of 7th).  He is staying poised at the back of the pack, but when will he make his move?  He still has a boatload of top drivers left, so I am looking for a big charge from A-Game in the races to come.  3 wins needed with 11 to go...

  

Good luck everyone!

Cheers!

Michigan Drivers - Happy Father's Day to all of you Mothers...

Hopefully I just missed Empty's pick this week.  

Pocono Results - Jr. Gets 2nd Win, Asleep Gets Locked In

Hola Amigos and Amigas!  I'm sitting here watching the Spurs put a beat down on the Heat... on the 1st day of the World Cup and 1st Round of the US Open.  I just drove in from Houston, and stopped by my brewery (Wild Bunch Brewing Company on Facebook , Wild Bunch Brewing Company on UNTAPPD ) to try the new Kolsch style we're brewing up for the summer.  I am thinking to myself: How could life be any better right now... the answer I found was simple... Life would be better if I actually liked Soccer, I was a lot better at golf, I didn't have to work in Houston, the brewery was making money, and if I had picked Dale Jr. at Pocono last Sunday got my 3rd win and was locked in the Chase like Asleep.  

At least the Spurs are still kicking ass.  

Top Picks:

Asleep took race winner Dale Jr. who took advantage of Keselowski's debris situation and was able to make the pass and pull away with 5 laps to go.  Keselowski wasn't able to catch back up to Jr. and Asleep takes the checkered flag.  Asleep joins the 4 other lucky bast... I mean teams to be locked in the Chase.  He is also sitting in the number 7 spot, thus leaving only 4 qualifying spots open at the moment.  Well done Asleep!    

Chonk, Penguin, and Empty took Kurt Busch (3rd).  Chonk continues to kick open net penalty shots at the rest of the field... I don't even know what that means.  Chonk continues to make tap in eagles while the rest of us are struggling to make par... a little better.  Chonk continues to make layups while the rest of us are throwing up bricks... You get the point.  I (Penguin) am happy being in 2nd with my one win, Houston is okay, the brewery is doing alright, I got about 10 hours of kitesurfing in last weekend... life is good.  Empty bounces back from last week's BSOTW.  He's still mired back in the pack at 13th, but only 42 points out of 7th or 2 wins away from making the Chase.

Hamlin (4th) was our most popular pick of the week.  Skidmarks crawls out of the Dutch Oven.  Kiss moves up one to 5th.  Pursuit stays in the draft of the 7th place spot.  Ideal and Shepard are battling for position for the 2nd week in a row.  Rusty gains a spot and A-Game logs a nice points day.

  

Eh/DOOTW/BSOTW:

It is hard to give out these awards this week.  However, since all the other teams finished in the top 4, I guess it can be justified.  I'll group them with the Eh... and not make that big a deal of it this week.  

The DOOTW award goes to Tony Stewart and Graz, Dust, Beef and Rasta.  Graz is still in 3rd, Dust is only 11 points out of 7th with 2 wins, Beef is locked in, but Rasta is still in a little trouble and needs to make a move soon.

The BSOTW award goes to Vickers and Piston and Rowdy.  Piston drops a spot but is still in 5th while Rowdy is locked in.

Other Ramblings:

Another team is added to the Chase.

Michigan this week.

Spurs up 3-1.

I am actually going to try to get into the World Cup this year, and I think it will be easy to do.  I loved my time working in Brazil towards the end of my first marriage, but that is a story for my other blog*.  Futbol is a lot like hockey, but on the grass and no puck or sticks... I don't really watch hockey either, but nice job by the Rangers last night, huh?  

*I don't have another blog.

For the guys:

 

For the girls:

Cheers!

Pocono Drivers

Dover Results: Monster Johnson... that was my nickname in college... thank you...thank you very much... BOOM! Confetti!!

Well, slap my ass and call me Fat Penguin!  We have a new team locked into the Chase boys and girls (my wife sometimes reads this…).  Check out the win column and you’ll see that Mr. Meat… I mean Dr. Beef is now safely in the Chase.  Take a look at all of the 2’s in that column as well.  

Let’s get to it.

Top Picks:

Well lookie here… JJ is NOT in as much trouble as everyone was saying.  Idiots.  The naysayers not these guys à Piston, Dust, Pursuit, Asleep, Ideal, Shepard, and Beef all took the back to back race winner Johnson.  Piston gets on the board with his 1^st win and climbs up to 4^th.  Dust, Pursuit, and Asleep, go 3 wide into turn 2!  All jumping up a spot (7^th, 8^th and 8^th) and getting their 2^nd win.  WOW!  Only 4 points separating these teams as they battle for that final qualifying spot, and I’m sure they will be looking to climb way past 7^th as they eye their 3^rd wins.  Ideal (10^th), Shepard (11^th) and Beef (12^th) are also taking it three wide, and only 10 points are separating these guys.  Ideal gets win #1 and jumps 2 spots.  Shepard gets win #2 and jumps 2 spots.  While Beef jumps 3 spots and more importantly gets win #3 as stated in the opening dialogue.  I told you he would be just fine as he was doing that free fall down the leaderboard.  I hope you like it well done cause y’all did it well!

Penguin took pole sitter and runner up Keselowski.  I hoped that he would have been able to start on the front row on that last caution and try to battle Johnson for the lead, but it was not meant to be.  But I’ll take the points and I like the 2 spot jump into 2^nd place.

Chonk “This is why I’m Hot” Motorsports took Truex Jr who finished 6^th.  Who would've known that this Jersey Boy would have been such a solid pick this week???  Chonk, that’s who.  His lock on 1^st place got a little tighter as he increases his lead from 26 points to 37 points. 

Kiss had a nice 7th place finish from Stewart.  He stays in 6^th, but has a swarm of teams within 8 points on his tail.  But if you take a look at that win column, you’ll see a nice fat 2 over there… he’ll be just fine I’m predicting.

Graziano and Rowdy also had a nice finish by the 8^th place #22 car of Logano.  Graz stays in 3^rd and Rowdy stays in 16^th, but both teams are very much in the Championship picture as we start the second half of our race to the Chase.

Eh:

A-Game took Rookie Kyle Larson who finished 11^th.  I obviously love this kid (Larson not A-Game… although I probably would also love A-Game if I knew him better).  He just continues to impress.  I don’t know about you folks, but I have been looking for a driver to replace my Burton and Martin picks for about two seasons now.  Stenhouse hasn’t been consistent enough and Truex Jr. has been struggling… he was fine this week of course… f*cking Chonk.  I don’t know why I have to be angry all the time…

 

And we're back... 

My point is:  I think Larson is that driver.  I hope he continues to kick ass and become one of the studs of NASCAR in the years to come.

A-Game is still in his Talladega mode sitting back in pack and waiting for the big one.  Then he will need to come on strong in these last 13 races before the Chase.  Wins?  Points?  I guess we’ll see…

Rusty’s pick of Gordon (15^th) ran well and in the top 10 all race, but faded towards the end and seemed to be lucky to hang on and get the 15^th place finish.  Rusty drops 2 spots, but only 37 points back from 7th.  Oh yeah… and he too has 2 wins. 

Rasta took a strong looking #4 car of Kevin Harvick (17^th).  But a flat tire forced him to play catch up the entire second half of the race.  Rasta drops a spot to 15^th, and our defending Champ is in a situation where he needs to start getting wins and/or make up the 46 point gap and grab that 7^th place spot if he wants a chance to repeat as Champ.

DOOTW:

Skidmarks (Newman, 31^st ) gets our Dutch Oven Award this week.  Newman had transmission issues that kept him from being a contender.  Skid drops from 2^nd to 5^th, but he is already a Chase qualifier.  I look for him to rebound and get back towards the lead during the 2^nd half of the Race to the Chase.

BSOTW:

Damn it Empty!  It was just last week when I was talking about your wonderful race… getting that 1^st win and jumping up 3 spots to grab the 7^th place spot.  I was actually kicking myself for picking Kyle Busch last week and not this week.  He wins the Truck race.  He wins the Nationwide race.  He starts on the front row in 2^nd and leads the first 20-30 or so laps.  A weekend sweep looked like the lock of the century… Not so fast.  Bowyer (f*cking Bowyer!) decided or his spotter decided that it would be a good idea to do a slide job on him for 2^nd (I think) and wrecking Kyle into the wall just past the ¼ point in the race… causing much poo to fly all over Empty’s bed with this 42^nd place finish.  Empty drops 7 (holy sh*t) spots and is now down to 14th; 41 points away from 7th.  Brutal week, but there is a lot of time to bounce back.  

Other Ramblings:

GO SPURS GO!!!

Pocono on Sunday… Will Johnson get another one???  I’ll be at the coast doing a little kitesurfing but will try to post drivers before we hit the beach on Sunday if everyone gets them in.

I hope it goes like this...

And not this...

Hey look… I know it’s still early.  We still have 13 races until the Chase begins and already 24% of the league has qualified for the Chase.  Beef joins the lucky few… Empty drops out of a qualifying spot… Dust jumps in that spot… a number of teams are close to the cut line (both above and below).  It just goes to show you how quickly things can change in this league.  I don’t know, but I can only imagine that you would sleep better if you had a GREEN 3+ in your win column.  Am I right Beef, Rowdy, Skid, and Chonk????

I personally hope that all teams are able to qualify for the Chase this year, and then we just shoot it out in the last 10 races.  But if you take a look at last year, only 10 of the 16 teams would have qualified on wins alone.  Only 1 team in the top 6 had less than 3 wins… only 6 qualifying spots would be available last year versus 7 this year… and 5 additional teams would have qualified as Wild Cards.  So 11 teams would have fought it out for last year’s title… 

2013 Final Standings

Now I know that strategies most likely would have been different given the new rules, but I feel it is my job as the commissioner of this league to provide as much insight as possible as we embark on this journey into uncharted territory… even though it is probably meaningless and wrong, and most likely will be of no help to anyone.

Cheers!

JohnsonFest in Dover

Will JJ go back to back???  7 teams think so... Good luck to all!